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Sports Blotter: ESPN kiddie rap

It ain't easy being Green. Plus, UGA cops play the name game, and D-West gets weird.
By MATT TAIBBI  |  July 21, 2010

CROWN HIS ASS: ESPN analyst Jeremy Green — son of former NFL head coach Dennis Green — was picked up last week on child-pornography and drug charges.

Man, has any sports scandal ever gotten less coverage? On July 8, authorities in Connecticut arrested Jeremy Green, an ESPN analyst, one-time director of pro personnel for the Browns, and son of former NFL head coach Dennis, on child-pornography and drug charges. Green had been tasked with answering readers' questions, but the instant he got arrested it was like he'd fallen off the face of the Earth. Aside from a curt statement that he no longer works for the network, there's been nary a mention of him at the Worldwide Leader.

Since the affidavit is temporarily sealed, it's not known exactly what the state has on Green. But prosecutor Ronald Dearstyne told reporters, "This is a very serious case, and in my opinion a good case."

Here's what he do know: in Connecticut, a person must have at least 50 prohibited images in his possession in order to be charged on a first-degree kiddie-porn rap. He apparently also admitted to investigators that he used cocaine. Green was hit with first-degree possession of child pornography and possession of drugs and drug paraphernalia. His bail was set at $750,000 bail. Give him 90 points on our list, good enough for a spot in the top five.

This has to be a real blow to Green's father, Denny, who's had his own controversies over the years, though nothing this serious. Do we have to be the first one to make this joke? Green wasn't who we thought he was!

Dumbest arrest of the year?
It seemed that the Alabama authorities who wasted detectives on a months-long investigation of JaMarcus Russell's codeine-syrup ingestion habits would be the runaway winner of this year's Dumb Sports Arrest award. But campus police in Georgia may have them one-upped with their harebrained bust of UGA cornerback Jordan Love.

Love was arrested July 5 after University of Georgia police responded to a complaint about students setting off fireworks. When they showed up, Love was questioned and asked to give his full name. He refused.

It turns out that Love was named after someone with whom the family no longer associates, so he doesn't use his middle name. The campus cops apparently thought Love was giving them attitude, so they arrested him and hit him with a misdemeanor obstruction charge. The next day, the extenuating circumstances were explained to the campus police (read: someone explained that you can't arrest a promising defensive back on an SEC powerhouse for not giving his middle name), and by the middle of the week authorities actually made a plea to county judge Charles Auslander to drop the obstruction charge.

Amazingly, Auslander blew them off. Love, Auslander said, "did obstruct Officer [Kevin] Thompson, a law-enforcement officer, in the lawful discharge of his official duties." So this silly business is going to take up more taxpayer money. Can we give a guy negative points for this anti-arrest?

Gone West
Former Celtic draftee Delonte West, one of the weirdest dudes to ever wear the green, was sentenced this week for that crazy incident last year when he was caught carrying three loaded guns and an 8½-inch Bowie knife while driving a motorcycle on the Capital Beltway in Maryland.

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