I like dogs better than bureaucrats. So, if I were drafting new rules regulating the importation of either one into Maine, I’d want more restrictions on bureaucrats.

That would probably disappoint those of you hoping to adopt a cuddly commissioner, supervisor, or director from a state where they have inadequate spay/neuter programs, resulting in excess numbers of them. But given how bureaucrats have spread viruses — such as the Department of Health and Human Services computer fiasco — wasting diseases — such as the financial decline of northern Maine — and plagues — such as our high tax burden — the only sensible choice would be to impose strict limits on importing them.

Unfortunately, bureaucrats in state government have shown no inclination to regulate the influx of their own kind. Instead, they’re going after the dogs.

The Department of Agriculture’s Division of Animal Health and Industry is about to propose a new rule that would make adopting abandoned dogs from other states — publicized on Web sites such as Petfinder.com and brought here by volunteer rescue groups — all but impossible. The regulation would force rescue groups to quarantine those dogs after their arrival in Maine. But none of the groups has a quarantine facility nor the financial resources to start one. They owe their success in saving thousands of dogs destined to be killed in shelters in southern states to operating under a simple system that avoids high-cost facilities and ... uh ... bureaucracy.

Responsible rescuers already quarantine dogs for two weeks, but they do it at veterinary hospitals in the South, where the potential adoptees go through health checks, are given vaccinations, and have their reproductive equipment rendered inoperative. In the last year, I’ve adopted two pooches from Dixie, and I can attest to the care they received and the vets’ reluctance to release any animal in questionable health.

That’s not good enough for Dr. Don Hoenig, the state veterinarian and promulgator of the new rules. “I have no assurance those dogs have been quarantined in the South,” Hoenig said. “We’ve been told of instances of dogs being brought in from the South that were sick.”

How many instances? Hoenig said he’s aware of “two or three,” but added that a comprehensive list is being compiled by Norma Worley, director of the state’s Animal Welfare Program. Except Worley had already told me Hoenig was doing the compiling, which didn’t stop her from making her own assessment of the situation. “We’re seeing diseases we haven’t seen in the state in 20 years,” she said.

Maybe, but the only verifiable information I could squeeze out of the bureaucracy is that some vets — nobody can say how many — have told state officials they’re seeing more cases — nobody is sure how many more — of distemper and parvovirus — diseases that already show up in Maine regularly. The bureaucrats have concluded — for reasons that escape me — that these viruses were brought to the state by dogs rescued from the South.

It’s also possible any jump in parvo and distemper has other origins. At least two Maine animal shelters have had outbreaks of parvo in the last couple of years, neither of them related to dogs imported from out of state. And distemper is common in raccoons, skunks, foxes, coyotes, and weasels, all of which can infect unvaccinated canines just by sneezing.

Determining if there’s really a problem and, if so, what’s causing it would be lots of work. Better to do something that looks effective, even if it isn’t. So, Hoenig has decided to require a five-day in-state quarantine. Why five? Distemper can take two weeks to show symptoms and parvo even longer. Maybe, five is the recommended number in the Official Bureaucrats’ Guide to Mucking Things Up.

Even the most ardent supporters of rescue groups admit there are irresponsible organizations that bring dogs to Maine without adequate safeguards. But there’s a simple way to stop that without shutting down the whole rescue system. Just require all those groups to get state licenses, one condition of which could be that they provide proof all dogs have been neutered, vaccinated, and quarantined by a vet for at least two weeks. This wouldn’t be much of a burden on legitimate rescuers, because they’re already doing it.

But licensing isn’t even under discussion in Augusta, and Chris Hanson of Hollis, the founder of Almost Home Rescue, thinks she knows why. “That would be validating our existence and giving us some say over our position in the community,” Hanson e-mailed. The bureaucrats “would rather us be ‘rogues.’”

A public hearing on the quarantine regulation will likely be held later this summer, with the new rule taking effect in the fall. After that, saving a dog from a shelter in the South will be like buying cheap booze. You’ll have to drive to New Hampshire to do it.

If you’re heading for the Granite State, e-mail me at aldiamon@herniahill.net . I could use a large bottle of bourbon and a medium-size terrier.