If you travel down the Hershey Highway, turning left at the Tuna Tunnel, continuing over the Um Bridge, above the beautiful Art Lake, you will come to Casa Diablo. And now that we’ve gotten the obligatory dick jokes out of the way, P&J can gaze out at the giant plate glass window to reflect on 2006.
First there was the election, a referendum on the leadership and policies of George W. Bush. So odious was Bush that, even in local school committee elections in the Biggest Little, being a Republican was lethal. Alas, one fine public servant, Linc Chafee, had to go. Thankfully, the victor in that race was the equally excellent Sheldon Whitehouse, and while it was mostly a good thing to get rid of as many Republicans as possible, the reverse was true in the General Assembly, where the dominant Democrats became even more dominant. This is not healthy when you consider the unfortunate number of robotic boneheads who reside in “the leadership’s” nether regions. We trust neither Speaker “Casino-boy” Murphy nor Senate President “Inadvertent” Montalbano.
The Blue Tsunami also made it easier for the jumped-up machine pol Ralph Mollis to climb into the secretary of state’s chair. But incoming General Treasurer Frank Caprio seems like a bright gem, and Lieutenant Governor-elect Elizabeth Roberts is a certified gem, so things are generally looking up.
“Laughing Boy” Carcieri prevailed over “Munster Head” Fogarty. The Don’s superior PR skills and ebullient personality do not make up for how his values are those of wealthy and powerful corporate Republicans, not those of working class Vo Dilun. P&J, despite our elegant style, are certainly working class. More tax cuts for the rich will not ameliorate the economic pounding faced by the middle and lower classes (and pretty much everyone not in the top five percent bracket in the country).
It was great to see the odious Donald Trump and the jumped-up Vegas punks from Harrah’s sent packing. We bought the casino = economic relief argument about as much as we buy the Republican notion that bending over for the rich means everyone profits. Both notions are simplistic twaddle.
Indeed, your superior correspondents consider the massive-and-getting-bigger gap between the rich and everybody else one of the biggest ongoing scandals in America. This was as much a reason as Bush’s near-total incompetence for kicking the Republicans to the curb. Not that the Democrats seem to be very alarmed.
We offer big pats on the back to the PawSox and to the City of Pawtucket (yes, Herb Weiss, the Energizer Bunny of municipal politics), for bringing Bob Dylan to this year’s Pawtucket Arts Festival. It was a great and ultimately inspiring concert, since the Bob was in top form.
Meanwhile, the state awaits more on the Station fire tragedy, as information continues to dribble out. We also suspect that the tip of the iceberg revealed in the conviction of Robert “Urc the Jerk” Urciuoli, will get really big this year as prosecutors focus their attention. More heads will be rolling, as long as Celona’s rug doesn’t leak and kill any more brain cells.
The year’s biggest non-revelation had to be a major insurance company’s report that Vo Dilun has the worst drivers in the nation. Yes, and we hear the Sox might be looking to trade Manny.
Speaking of sports, the fight game in our state had a big year. Unfortunately, the best bouts didn’t take place in the ring. House Deputy Majority Leader Timothy Williamson (who was praying for the casino to pass, so that he could legally change his name to “Money Boy Williamson”) took on Carcieri lobbyist Michael Cronan in a short Chivas-fueled one rounder at Patrick’s Pub, in the shadow of Halitosis Hall.
And the legendary Buckles Melise retained his Federal Hill belt by punching out a DPW foreman on Atwells Avenue, because the latter was trying to have Buckles’s car towed for parking in a no-parking zone. We applaud Buckles for his pro-economic development stance. He was angered that towing illegally parked cars would hurt restaurant business on da Hill.
Lend crossroads a hand
As a public service, we want to forward a message from Crossroads RI. It has an urgent need for gift cards for homeless clients this holiday season.
Gift cards to discount stores, e.g. Wal-Mart and Target, and supermarkets, like Stop & Shop and Shaw’s, are most needed. They may be dropped off through December 24 at Crossroads RI, 160 Broad St., Providence, RI 02903, or may be mailed to the Development Department at the same address.
Donating a gift card will provide a homeless family or individual with the means to immediately access food, clothing, and other necessities, or the ability to purchase a special holiday gift they could otherwise not afford. We offer a tip of the beret and sombrero to Crossroads and its staff for doing the right thing.
P&J have two mommies
Paging David Crosby.
