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To BB or not to BB

Sports Blotter: Red Rider Edition
June 14, 2006 6:59:15 PM

blot1_0606016 It took a hell of a long time, but 2006 finally has its first college-jock-randomly-shoots-pedestrian-with-BB-gun offense. Not many Americans have heard of the name David Lighty, but it’s only a matter of time. Next year, Lighty is sure to be a household name, or close to it. A Cleveland-prep basketball star guard who averaged 21 points and ten rebounds for Villa St. Joseph last year, he’s part of what was expected to be one of the most celebrated basketball recruiting classes ever — next year’s Ohio State University squad.

Lighty and fellow St. Joe’s teammates Darryl Rushton and Jimmy McLeod were busted last week after a 55-year-old man named James Nugent felt a sting in his back while jogging on the school track. He turned around to see the three kids giggling and saying, “Ha, ha, I got him.”

0606016_blotter_main2
RALPHIE WOULD BE PROUD: We finally have our first assault-with-a-BB-gun arrest, as Ohio State–bound David Lighty was picked up for allegedly tagging a jogger.
The three teens were tossed in the shame-wagon and charged with suspicion of assault, criminal trespassing, and criminal activity on school property. Ohio State offered no comment except to say it is “gathering information,” it is “too early to judge the facts,” and, “after all, we still need backcourt help.” Well, no, actually I made up that last part.

BB-gun shootings by athletes take place about once a year and are generally a collegiate offense directly connected to massive alcohol consumption. Pro athletes, however, have also been known to dabble. The most heralded BB-gun offender in this country is probably former Tampa Bay defensive back Dwight Smith, he of two Super Bowl interceptions for touchdowns. Some years back, Smith allegedly pulled a BB gun on a motorist in the drive-through lane of a McDonald’s. Smith’s BB gun was the firearm version of the Patch; he was using a substitute after having been arrested for pulling a nine-millimeter pistol on a motorist years before.

Other BB offenders include British soccer star Darren Bent of Ipswich Town, who shot a 12-year-old boy in the back of the head in a drive-by incident a few years ago, and notorious hockey goon/rapist Billy Tibbetts — the Lawrence Phillips of hockey — who capped a long criminal career by violating his parole and doing two-and-a-half years for a BB-gun shooting. More recently, Oklahoma State offensive lineman Adam Gourley pulled a BB version of Charles Whitman and pegged a fellow student from a dorm balcony, leaving a projectile lodged in his victim’s head. The school conceded it was a “poor decision” on Gourley’s part.

060616_blot2_And you thought Seanez and Tavarez sucked
From the where-are-they-now file comes a shout-out from old friend Scott Sauerbeck, former Red Sox player and self-described “curveball-flippin’ freak” who was hounded out of the Cleveland Indian bullpen last week in the silliest DUI incident since Jeff Garcia visited your local Jack in the Box.

Sauerbeck, Sox fans might recall, is the man Theo Epstein imported to save the Boston bullpen late in 2004. Sauerbeck sucked mightily, contributing in significant ways to the peculiar thrill of the Grady Little era. But what made that deal especially painful is that it originally included Pittsburgh prospect Mike Gonzalez, now the Pirates’ closer and one of the best young relief arms in the game. Pittsburgh managed to yank Gonzalez back after their doctors flunked the Sox end of the deal, Brandon Lyon, who was soon after healthy enough to be traded to Arizona.

Anyway, Sauerbeck was arrested last week for “wrongful entrustment” and “obstructing official business” after he allowed a 28-year-old woman (not his wife) to drive a car while intoxicated. The duo compounded the DUI offense when they allegedly tried to escape police by hiding in a bush — something unprecedented in the vast annals of baseball drunkenness. A week after the arrest, the Indians designated Sauerbeck for assignment.

Indians manager Eric Wedge insisted the team’s decision had nothing to do with the arrest, pointing to Sauerbeck’s high ERA and the .250 batting average lefties held against him. Expect to see Sauerbeck in Pawtucket, traded for Dustin Pedroia, by the end of the week.

When he’s not googling “BB Gun” AND “point guard,” Matt Taibbi is writing for Rolling Stone. He can be reached at M_Taibbi@yahoo.com .

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