DOWNLOAD: Harry & The Potters and Uncle Monsterface, "Drunk Athens Part II" (mp3)
Day eight:A visit to the Museum of Puppetry leads unexpectedly to an upgrade from Purgatory to Hell, both of which are revealed to be very sticky.
Paul: We stop at the Museum for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta. When touring with a band like Uncle Monsterface stuff like this happens. We pay $7 each and are promised close to 1000 puppets. I think we are all maybe a little disappointed. I mean, shouldn’t a museum like this have stuff from movies like Being John Malkovich or The Sound of Music? And maybe a giant shrine to Jim Henson? The coolest things we see are a couple of the “Pigs in Space” muppets and an empty box labeled “Future Acquisition” that has some sort of existentialist plaque questioning the validity of displaying items owned by other people. Huh?
Joe: The animatronic puppets are broken. Boo.
Marty Allen: Atlanta's Masquerade is a crazy space. Every night they have three rock shows going on simultaneously in three different rooms: Heaven, Hell, and
Purgatory. Heaven is upstairs, Hell is downstairs, and Purgatory is aptly tucked away in a weird and illogical corner. The entire place resembles the forgotten secret hideout of a lesser known comic book bad guy team, full of exposed brick, high ceilings, questionable enclaves, and lots and lots of stickiness. Everything we touched was sticky.
Paul: One of the club guys tells us that we’ve sold too many tickets to play in Purgatory. Instead, we are being promoted to HELL! This place is like a punk rock Hogwarts dungeon. This is exactly what Hogwarts would be like if the teachers went on strike and all the students started booking shows every night. It’s incredibly filthy and just about everything is covered in a thick layer of spilled beer and soda. Surprisingly, it doesn’t smell all that bad, but I really don’t want to touch anything.
Jesse: Half an hour before showtime, I hear that there are already 50 kids lined up outside. Surprisingly, I spot a trio of teens I recognize from the Athens show. One sees me and says “It’s Uncle Monsterface!” I hear this periodically and I don’t get it. Uncle Monsterface has a giant green head. Still, it spooks me and I casually walk back inside.
Marty Allen: It seems that while we were soothing our souls with alcohol in Athens, we managed to forget half of our gear there.
Joe: How did we get so dumb? Our keyboard and drum machine are totally not showing up to this show tonight. What will we do? Make panicked phone calls! Talk to all the other punk bands playing and see if any of them have a keyboard.
Marty Allen: Being rock giants, the Potters quickly adjust and make do with a loaner from James for a more iPod-focussed performance. Understandably shaken by our own collective stupidity, we try to calm ourselves and appease the fact that we once again haven't eaten in 12 hours by ceremoniously consuming the giant Pannetone cake we've had with us since day one. It went down well, chased by a PBR. And by “well,” I mean
horribly.
Jesse: Luckily, enough of the Potters’ music is backed up on digital media that the audience probably doesn't notice anything amiss. The song-a-day song that commemorates this night begins with the DeGeorge brothers singing the phrase “How did we get so stupid?”
Paul: I’m in the middle of playing our “Tonsil Hockey” song. I think I’m probably going to get herpes from being to close to this microphone.
Joe: I’m playing on James’s Mini-Korg. The keys are smaller so I have to be a lot more meticulous with my finger placement. I hit a C instead of D with my left hand! Crap. I think I just ruined the show.
Marty Allen: To retrieve our gear, we have to go back to our gracious hosts of Athens-gone-by, Lori and Marty. Which is actually a bonus, because we like them bunches.
Paul: We just had an insanely awesome show at the Masquerade. Despite the tiny keys, we tore this place up! The sing-a-longs were amazing. Atlanta rocked it out hardcore! We’re now in the car leaving Atlanta to head back to Athens. I convince everyone that we should stop at the Varsity (a legendary hot dog establishment) for a frosted orange. I couldn’t resist and I also ordered a chili dog. This was a bad idea. Their chili dogs are lousy. I won’t make this mistake again.
Joe: We get back to Athens to claim the missing elements of our band. Marty and Lori have been super awesome to us. They deserve three million points. Each. They are watching The Office when we arrive. It is funny. I am tired. I get directions for the rest of our journey. Everyone goes to sleep.
