Trying to put a price on this failed marriage is absurd

Get over it

August 22, 2007 4:54:27 PM

Leroy Greer’s lawyer, Kennitra Foote, says that her client’s attempt to “say it with flowers” is going to cost him $300,000.

Greer asked 1.800.Flowers to send some posies to his girlfriend, with a note that said, “Just wanted to say that I love you and you mean the world to me!” Now, his outraged wife is asking that $300,000 be added to her divorce settlement — which was already in the works when she found out about the honey on the side.

The florist sent his bill to Greer’s former home. The wife got it. (Why is she opening his mail?) She called them and asked that the details of the bill be sent to her. (Why did they?) The rest is all rage and greed.

Greer is suing 1.800.Flowers for $1 million, for breach of contract and deceptive trade practices (thereby alerting a few million more people around the globe, who may have missed the news that he had a girlfriend.) The escalation of jackpots in this tale is staggering and absurd, at every level.

The Greers were already in the throes of a divorce, so we can assume they had agreed the marriage was over. So what’s going on?

Does Mrs. Greer feel if a busted marriage is worth $X, and that adding in how her husband perhaps had a lover makes it worth $X plus $300,000?

If she had found out he was sending the flowers to a gay lover, would the price go to $X plus $500,000?

What if Greer had had an unnatural fondness for goats? My guess is the sky would have been the limit!

Earth to Mrs. Greer: It’s over. For whatever reasons known best (or unknown) to you and your husband, the marriage expired and you were each on your way to moving on.

So move, already!

How much Greer finally pays in the divorce settlement won’t be decided by Mrs. Greer, or even by Ms. Foote (who still gets her legal fees for the divorce work, plus her piece of the $1 million from 1.800.Flowers, should Greer prevail, and presumably more legal fees for that representation). A judge — hopefully a voice of reason in this chorus of irrationals — will decide who gets what in the end.

1.800.Flowers told Greer’s wife he sent flowers to someone. His note said he loved that person, but that is hardly the same kind of in flagrante delicto as finding one’s husband bedding down a young thing on the matrimonial bed one Sunday after he said he was singing in the church choir.

People say our society is too litigious. Worse, it is immature, stupid, and excessive.

The Greer case points out the absurdity of trying to put a price on a broken marriage.

Stuff happens, and grownups need to cope.