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Dance, Monkey: Brian Moote

We put a comic on the hot seat. This week’s victim . . .
By MARC HIRSH  |  July 23, 2008

Why the hell would anyone in Belgium want Budweiser enough to pay $52 billion for it?
I have no idea. I didn’t even know waffles made that much money.

Fix the economy. Fix it now.
I would legalize piracy and let everybody go get stuff. That’s a solid economic model, piracy, right? Go take things that you want from people? And then when people complain about it, just tell them to get a bigger sword.

If I got you drunk enough, what Olympic event would you be totally convinced you could win?
What’s that one where they cross-country-ski and shoot? The biathlon. Either that, or I’m pretty sure I could nail the pole vault. I’m that much better of an athlete when I’m intoxicated. It would just take beer to unlock that natural athletic prowess to be able to wedge a pole into a crevasse and launch myself over something.

What is the matter with kids today?
They’re so young. They just can’t vote. They can’t make any positive changes to the world.

I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?
Well, I do all my grocery shopping at CVS, so I’m going to go with a tube of Pringles and a Red Bull. But not just any Pringles, the pizza-flavored ones so that it feels like a dinner. I wouldn’t just get sour-cream-and-onion. That doesn’t have enough food groups in it.

Brian Moote | Comedy Lounge, Hyannis | August 22-23 | 508.771.1700

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  Topics: Comedy , Marc Hirsh
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