Pathetic. You have either never been to an Arctic show before or you had too many Jack and Cokes and forgot how the show actually went. Telling by the very short snappy review, I'm going with the latter.
They don't "dance" and never would.
"...the band stayed stiffer than a Jack and Coke on stage". You might get some laughs from the crowd at High School reunion class of '56. That's a fairly weak attempt at humor.
"...let alone bust a move.", this is not a bboy event.
Throwback? "Crying Lightning" is the first single from Arctic Monkeys' third album Humbug. Do your research.
The band's genre is, if anything ,"English alternative rock" definitely NOT a "dance-punk band"
If you're going to write a review in the future and didn't like the show:
1. Do your homework and research the band's Discography.
2. Do not attempt humor.
3. Pay attention to the show, and takes lots of notes. (Pen and Paper required for this step)
4. Be diverse in your criticism, picking one negative aspect of a show makes it look like you didn't pay attention to anything else.